Archive | November 2016

Homeless: 250 Ducks

Nov9

When I moved into my lovely little old flat 15 months ago we inherited a rather large built in display cabinet. Neither of us had much of value to put in it and so it was decided that the Ducks could move in. 


The Ducks were lovingly arranged into the cabinet by my flatmate Ellie, they have been a lovely central point to our living room ever since and earned our flat the title of “The Duck Residency”.

It has suddenly dawned on me that I do not have a big display cabinet in my new flat. Where will the Ducks live? 😦 

Sam for Prime Minister?

Nov9

So this man is now the President of the United States? Surely this means I can be the next Prime Minister after Theresa May?


I may need to win the lottery first. They say money cannot buy you happiness, but in this case it looks like it can buy you a country.

Still waiting for America to turn around and claim the worlds best troll for 2016 and then quack on with a real election. 

Dear Mr Ford…

Nov8

Dear Mr Ford, I hope you are well.

How do I know you Mr Ford? Well I do not know you exactly. I know you as Mr Ford as that was the make of Wing Mirror I picked up off of the floor after you ploughed your car into mine at 8am this morning. Accidents happen right? I know driving onto the other side of the road and into another car could have been caused by a minor lapse of concentration. Maybe you were tired or you’d had a bad day and were reflecting on this, who knows? You drove into me, so I beeped the horn to alert you to stop, switched off my engine and opened the door thinking we were about to exchange details. But where were you Mr Ford? 500 metres down the road driving away as fast as you could. I picked up your wing mirror, so if you would like it back it is in the boot of my car waiting for you. I don’t suppose you’ll be back for it though, you can’t have wanted it that much to leave it in the middle of the road. Luckily you didn’t hurt me, or cause much damage to my car, not that you bothered to check and you definitely came off worse. Maybe next time you decided to hit someone at 30mph though it might be nice of you to check that you havnt hurt them. After all the damage to the car can be repaired and frankly is not worth my no claims bonus, but this was a quiet road which no cars could go down for long periods of time. Are you really happy driving away and leaving someone potentially hurt in a car where no one would find them? Shows a lot about character Mr Ford, and it appears you are one of society’s scumbags. 

Regards,

Miss James Blonde Adam Slam with Black Stripes. 

The Duck in the Room

Nov6

I have a lot of Ducks. I had a friend of a friend visit last night, he came in and sat down in my living room which currently houses a rather impressive duck collection. As I have only met this guy once before I was doing the usual hostess things, offering Chai Tea, and apologizing for the current state of my flat.

About 8 minutes of being sat surrounded by these ducks he says “So… About the Ducks?”

So about the ducks. One Duck was bought for me around 8 Years ago. It was a Statue of Liberduck. Or Duck Number 1 as it is now known. I liked this duck, and then I saw Michael Quackson, Bad Mother Clucker advertised on eBay. Dad had the job of waiting up that night in order to bid on this duck with absolutely no insight into what a snowball effect it would create. Suddenly I was receiving ducks from everyone for every occasion and before I knew it they were everywhere.

As I told him of this story it was dawning on me that I was perhaps coming across a little bit strange. Not so much a crazy cat lady, here I am as a crazy duck lady.

“Have you ever thought of setting up some sort of Duck fan base?” he asked.

I told him that no that was not something I had considered doing, but I had just started blogging.

“Is it a blog about Ducks?”

Not as such, it was originally to blog about my experience of home buying, but that all happened a little bit too fast, and now I was blogging about everything and anything that springed into my mind.

“So it’s not a Duck fan base? What’s it called?”

A Little Bit Quackers….

Sorry Nikki, I did try to be normal but I think I will always be that slightly embarrassing friend…. #JustActNormal

Hogging the Hedge

Nov6

The things that stick…

I was having dinner with my flatmate, her other half and my friend a couple of nights ago when we got into a discussion of remembering things. It is funny what things we remember and the things that stick with us. What is it that makes a memory stick?

Ellie was talking about a night we had out many years ago which I had no memory of, yet it is something she has always remembered. We could not figure out how long ago it was but we did know that a lot of wine was consumed. Mainly by me. As I am not a very big drinker this took me by surprise, could it really be my drunken self that was a defining memory of our friendship?! We were in a taxi driving back from town and apparently they dropped me off home first. I got out of the taxi and fell straight into a hedge outside my parents house.

My Friends leapt our of our taxi to come and retrieve me from this hedge that I had managed to get myself well and truly stuck in. Although I have no recollection  of this event I have been told that hedges are very difficult to get out of. You fall into them very easily as all the branches and leaves just give way, but trying to get out of the hedge is not easy as the branches do not offer enough support to push yourself out of the hedge.

Anyway Ellie attempts to pull me out of the hedge, I look at her with 100% seriousness and inform her that “I am a Hedgehog”

“Why are you a Hedgehog Samie?”

“Because I am Hogging the Hedge”

hogging-the-hedge

How she managed to get me out of the hedge I will never know, but I was so disappointed in myself for not remembering this, and so proud of my drunken 19 Year Old self for such a fabulous pun.

Fear not my lovely friends, I too have lots of stories to tell about you…

 

Got Another Cake Order!!!

Nov6

So I received my second celebration cake order today!! I am a self taught baker specializing in celebration and cupcakes. This particular cake is a 2 tiered, surprise filled, buttercream iced floral display. Good thing I love a challenge as this seems like a lot to do in just two evenings! However I haven’t had a chance to make anything since the Kinder Bueno cake so I’m looking forward to this one, even if the delivery date is not until the 17th of November!! Not too sure if I can beat the chocolate monstrosity seen below though, or if I’ll ever be able to surprise a client as much as this one!!

kinder

Hello

Nov2

Hello and Welcome to my little corner of the Internet.

My Name is Sam and I am 26 Years Young. I have recently moved to Fleet in Hampshire. The original purpose of this blog was to track the process of buying my first home, however this seems to have happened a lot quicker than planned! As a result you may be subjected to a collection of house related talk, my first attempts at DIY and day-to-day ramblings of my life.

I also bake cakes, normally celebration cakes for friend and family but also cupcakes and biscuits. I am currently also learning to cook. So as a result the occasional cake or cooking attempt will make its appearance on this blog. If a cake appears on this blog you will know that I have inevitably spent hours in my kitchen and potentially shred the occasional tear while surrounded by icing sugar and flour so approach with caution!

My friend tells me that I should blog about my life as apparently I am sitcom worthy and will make her millions. We shall see!

If you have stumbled across my blog by chance then hello and thank you very much for reading! I hope I have had something interesting to say! If you know me and are reading because you are interested in my ramblings then I am honoured to have your eyes grace the presence of my blog also. If you know me and I have forced you to read then that is just what supportive friends do! Unless you are my Dad. If you are Dad I have probably directed you here to persuade you into a new DIY project or I’ve found something for the flat. It will be worth your time. Honest.

Sam x